Buenos días, cockbites. Guess who’s back? Payback’s a bitch, and so am I. I hope you brought your wallet… ‘cause the rent in hell gets paid in advance.
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do u ever go to unfollow someone but then u see some rly good posts and u just kind of 


you can stay


for now



in my senior drama class i had to play gordon ramsay for a film project but we could only film in school so we had to try to find a closed off room to use. the thing is the room wasn’t exactly soundproof and apparently someone heard us and that’s the story of how the vice principal and four freshmen walked in on me wearing a chef’s hat and yelling at my friend because her squid was so raw i could still hear it telling spongebob to fuck off

did you get an A


GIRLS DONT READ this ones just for the fellas. only guys will get this one. bros you know when youre at the gym workin on your ‘toids to get big for the sports well OKAY I’m sure the ladies have stopped reading by now, so what’s their deal? how do I tell the girls I love them without having to talk? I’m scared


i broke up with my gym
we were just not working out

the thrilling trilogy

i’m the popcorn kernel that never popped in the bag of life



the way to my heart is through well-written fanfiction

receives no well-written fanfics… my heart is safe for now


Hello modelling agency?? yeah my selfie just got 34 notes I think I’m ready to go pro


there are approximately 1,013,913 words in the english language but i could never string any of them together to explain how much i want to hit you with a chair.


there is a difference between people who are smart and people who get good grades